Super Smash Brothers: To smash the ring
by Zelda12343
Summary: About twenty years after the ring's been destroyed, the Middle Earth citizens need help, and FAST! However, when the Smashers get involved, coupled with some romance... rated T for romance. Zelink, Frodo x OC, Legolas x... well I'll surprise you!
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

**Author's note: **_As of writing this, this is the first of it's kind. I don't expect to get many visitors, but the ones that do, please, please, PLEASE review._

**Standard disclaimer for all chapters from now until forever: I own no characters except for my OCs (and even my main "OC" has been sort of invented by one of these sources). Nintendo owns all Super Smash Brothers characters and J.R.R Tolkien owns all Lord of the Rings characters.**

**

* * *

**"AIEEEE!" came a voice that was surely loud enough to wake the entire Shire.

Standing in the room of her daughter, Rosie was hysterical to find that her daughter had _once again_ snuck out before dawn. She obviously didn't care if she was discovered to be missing. Her door was clearly open, displaying the also wide open window. The candle had burned farther down than Rosie estimated that it should be. But most of all, there had been no attempt to make the bed up so as to make people think she was still there. The girl had even left a cheerful note on her pillow that said _Dear Mama, I am out for a little early-morning blatant violation of all of your rules that have been made so that I could preserve my self image a little. Yes, I'm climbing trees, and I might even be swimming. I am sorry for the inconvenient hour, but this is the only time that I can be strange and not be labelled so. I do not care that I do this at least twice a week, but I believe that the standard disclaimer is in order: I will be coming back, most likely without injury, at dawn. If I'm not back, I am either dead or something has befallen me. Send Dad out to get my corpse, then! Hugs and kisses, it is obvious who is writing this so I refuse to sign my name. After all, who could I be? The Last Ring-Bearer?_

"SAAAAAMMMMMM!" Rosie shrieked when reading the note. Her husband appeared, looking extremely tired and confused when he entered.

"What? Is it the little troublemaker again?" he asked in a sleepy voice.

"Seventeen is hardly little, Sam," she replied primly.

"So she's out again," he said, now waking up a little more.

"The nerve of her!" Rosie was getting worked up. "Why couldn't she be more like Eleanor or something?"

"Nah. She's a free spirit," Sam smiled affectionately at the thought of his tomboyish second-oldest child.

"But she's _swimming!_" Rosie cried.

"I'll go get her," Sam sighed and returned to his room to get a lantern.

* * *

How much fun swimming was!

So was climbing trees.

That's how Verna saw it, at least.

Then again, she was an extremely unusual hobbit. For one, she loved video games. For another, she enjoyed wrestling her "uncles" Peregrine and Meriadoc (they were really of no relation, but they treated her like their niece). For yet another, she adored adventure. She also loved to read, sing, draw, and other things. But above all, she loved stories, particularly that of the One Ring. It had been destroyed about three years before her birth, and she often thought about the ring bearers. Sauron didn't sound very nice. Isildur was the same. Gollum was just beyond creepy. She didn't know what to think about Bilbo because he stole it. Then again, he stole it from Gollum.

Then there was the last Ring Bearer. She wondered what he'd been like. Not many hobbits knew about him.

"Verna!" she could hear her father's voice. She swore to herself and pulled her clothing back on. She'd been swimming, thinking again about the One Ring. Very few people at the Shire knew about it, so she'd heard it from her father's dwarvish friend's son, Aragorn II. When she'd asked her dad about it, he'd gotten a sad, thoughtful expression on his face and hadn't answered her. Rosie had told her later that her father had lost a close friend in the fight against the One Ring. After learning that, Verna hadn't mentioned it.

"Verna, your mother's worried," her father tried to scold her, but didn't have the heart to truly do it. Verna sighed and fell into line behind him.

"Will you take me flower-picking later?" she asked.

"Okay, fine," he replied. "And you can visit... what's her name?"

"Zelda," Verna replied. Her best friend, Zelda, and her family lived in a huge house about twenty miles away. Verna loved visiting them.

Besides, Zelda made great daisy chains.

* * *

Little did Verna know that Zelda was in no mood to make daisy chains.

As a matter of fact, in Smash Mansion, Zelda was in an extremely terrible, fierce mood. Not even Link, her best friend, could calm her.

See, Link's little brother, Toon Link, had just finished watching the _Return of the King. _He had cried so hard at the end that he had filled the popcorn bowl with extremely salty tears.

"I can't believe what happened!" he had sobbed. Ness, Lucas, and the Ice Climbers had happened to be passing by.

"What?" Lucas had asked.

"I finished _Return of the King_," he sobbed. "And Frodo dies!"

"WHAT? TRAITOR!" Lucas screamed at PoPo. "YOU TOLD ME THAT HE LIVED!" With that, he began crying as well.

"He does," Nana had said. "He just goes off with the elves to the undying lands."

"I count that as dying," Toon Link cried.

"I don't," PoPo replied.

"It wasn't fair!" Lucas continued howling. "He was a hero!"

"Nah. Sam was the hero," Ness replied solidly.

"No he wasn't!" Nana shouted.

"Well, the point is that my favorite character is dead," Toon Link sobbed.

"Mine, too!" Lucas sobbed.

"You told me your favorite was Arwen!" Ness was stunned.

"I used to have a crush on her," Lucas replied. "But she ended up with Aragorn, I think."

"How did you know?"

"I saw the part where she and Aragorn kiss," he replied.

"Poor Eowyn!" it was unclear who had said that.

"Poor Frodo!" mumbled Toon Link.

"How can you say that? He got to go with the elves. And if they're anything like Zelda, who's hot by the way-" PoPo was abruptly cut off by a fist. It was Toon Link.

Needless to say, it was pretty nasty. And Zelda had had to clean up and listen to Toon Link's endless sobs of "he didn't deserve that!" while she tried dragging each of them to solitary confinement. And what had made it worse was that she had a throbbing blister on her heel, her hair wouldn't lie down straight, and she had to write her elvish cousin a letter because it was his birthday. Her mother made her, despite the fact that the passing of time was irrelevant for elves, and besides, Zelda kept forgetting her cousin's name. Bob or Miles or something. She was pretty sure it was Bob. Oh well. In her letter, she'd just written it addressed to Bob, prince of Mirkwood. With hope he'd know who it was for. How many princes of Mirkwood were there?

There were, unfortunately, a lot. She didn't know that. Even more unfortunately, the one she was writing to was named Legolas, not Bob or Miles.

* * *

Legolas sighed and put down his letter.

For the last time, his name was NOT BOB! When would anyone get it straight?


	2. Chapter 2

**1: The way of sushi**

** Author's note: **_This chapter is more for Brawl than LOTR, so I'm also at the same time posting the next chapter, which is mainly LOTR._

Verna was now sitting cross-legged on a tatami mat with Zelda facing her. Why and how Zelda had convinced her to join in a sushi party hosted by Kirby, she didn't know. However, she had, and Verna already ready to regret it.

"HHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Kirby shouted cheerfully when he saw that Verna was joining them.

"I like you, Kirby, but that shout is unbearable behavior," Sam said from the doorway. He was going to go watch Link and Mario brawl, though Verna was sure that it was just an excuse. She had no idea how Kirby had managed to drag Marth, Roy, Toon Link, and Zelda to watch him make sushi and then eat it. She knew she was only there for Zelda. Otherwise, she'd be gone far earlier.

Kirby then reentered the room carrying several trays of rice, sushi, avocado, and fish. Seeing the raw fish, with the eyes still on them, made Verna feel a little sick. Zelda, however, was giggling. Kirby was wearing his special chef's outfit, which looked ridiculous on a puffball like him. Verna couldn't concentrate on that. She'd seen her father in a flowered apron enough to not be amused. Besides, those fish were making her sicker by the second.

"OBSERVE!" he suddenly grew very serious, taking one of the sushi knives and slamming it downwards. The head of the nearest salmon flew off and landed in Verna's lap. Verna immediately puked all over herself, all over Zelda, all over Kirby, and all over every dish.

"WHOOPS..." Kirby blushed "VERNA, I'M SORRY!". The hobbit girl then ran out of the room crying.

"THOSE EYES ARE STARING AT ME!" she gasped as she left.

* * *

**Second take**

"Meta Knight has taught me the way of SUSHI! OBSERVE! I HAVE PERFECTED IT AND WILL NOW BE KNOWN AS SUSHI SAMURAI!" Kirby shouted and picked up the knife.

"Seriously, this chapter waayyyyy overuses caps lock," Marth mumbled to Roy.

"I quite agree," Roy replied.

"I HEARD THAT!" Kirby shouted and tackled Marth.

* * *

**Third take**

"I, KIRBY THE SUSHI SAMURAI, AM PREPARED TO SHOW YOU MY LOST ART!" Kirby bellowed and picked up the knife.

"Lost?" asked Verna.

"IT JUST SOUNDS COOLER THAT WAY!" Kirby replied and twirled the knife.

"AAAAH! IT'S GLOWING BLUE! ORKS ARE COMING TO EAT OUR FACES!" Toon Link shrieked. Indeed, the blade was glowing blue.

"You watch too much _Lord of the Rings, _Toony," Zelda giggled and continued shining the blue flashlight at the blade.

"What's _Lord of the Rings?" _Verna asked, confused.

"You're a hobbit and you seriously don't know?" shrieked Toon Link. "So the only one who doesn't get why this is funny is you?"

"CURSE YOU BOTH!" Kirby shrieked and dove, aiming at Toon Link, but accidentally hit Marth.

* * *

**Fourth take**

"PREPARE TO WITNESS THE SUSHI SAMURAI IN ACTION!" Kirby shouted and picked up a knife. He then proceeded to stab downwards, aiming for the fish. However, he accidentally hit his foot.

"OH MAN! THAT BURNS!" shrieked Kirby. "COULD SOMEONE GET ME A NAPKIN?"

"Who made the rule that Kirby has to speak in caps lock?" Marth asked Toon Link this time. "He reminds me of an angry Ganondork or something."

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT, LOWELL!" screamed Kirby and tackled him.

"Does anyone detect a running gag here?" moaned Marth.

"SHUT UP," replied Kirby.

* * *

**Fifth take**

"I'M THE AWESOME SUSHI SAMURAI! PREPARE TO BE AWED BY MY SHEER SKILL!" Kirby then threw the knife. Unfortunately, there was a draft in the room and Kirby this time threw it so wrong that it soared out into the hall.

"ARGH! OKAY, WHO THREW THAT?" came Master Hand's voice.

"OOPS..." it goes without saying who said that.

* * *

**Sixth take**

Kirby was finally ready to get it right.

"BEHOLD! THE AWESOMENESS OF THE SUSHI SAMURAI!" Kirby bellowed. He grasped the knife and tossed it upwards. Flying into the air clasping the fish, he aimed for the knife, grabbed it, and rapidly cut the salmon into perfect sashimi. It then landed perfectly on the little beds of rice. It was, in all senses, finally perfect.

Except that Verna got the main brunt of the fish scales in her long, curly hair.

"NO!" she screamed as a fish head then fell in her lap again. Kirby realized that she was turning green and made a quick move to defend his perfect sushi. He managed to pull them out of the way just as the little hobbit began round two of throwing up. Fortunately, Zelda was prepared. She grasped Toon Link's hat and held it in front of Verna's face.

"What was that for?" Toon Link snarled as Zelda primly handed him the hat, which was now holding the remains of the hobbit's breakfast (as her second breakfast had made its reappearance earlier).

"Finally that hat had some use. I mean, seriously, why would you wear it? What purpose does it serve in the game?" Zelda asked.

"Maybe to make you look stupid," smirked Marth. Kirby immediately tackled him.

"Why..." Marth trailed off.

* * *

**Seventh take**

By now, Kirby and the others had completely lost interest in the sushi, and, in a shameless rip-off of _Family Guy_, (**Disclaimer: I don't own any of those characters either**), had decided to see which one of them could eat the head of the fish and puke last.

Surprisingly enough, Verna didn't puke immediately. However, she became so pale that salt looked colorful, comparatively.

"Verna, you're going to be very sick, aren't you?" Zelda asked.

"I THINK I JUST FELT ITS' EYE MOVE," moaned Kirby.

"Seriously, Kirby! You eat entire people every day! And you're worried about an eye moving?" asked Roy. "If I were you, I'd worry about the brain. I think it's slipping out of the head for me. What about you, Marth?"

However, at the time, Marth was setting the record for longest streak of projectile vomiting and was creating a temporary waterfall on the opposing wall.

"Who knew you could projectile vomit so well, Marth?" asked Zelda, smirking. "If you did that for your final smash, you'd win every time!" Marth looked queasy in reply.

"Don't tell me there's more, Marth. You've puked enough and are now officially disgusting- ugh!" Roy gasped as Marth projectile-vomited all over him. The minute the vomit hit his face, he lost his lunch as well. The swordsmen from _Fire Emblem _had a gruesome beam fight of sorts with their vomit.

"Seriously disgusting," Toon Link looked about ready to puke himself.

"And, you, Zelda?" asked Kirby, trying not to look too hard at the beam fight.

"I'm fine. I'm going to win, and-RUN, VERNA!" Verna managed to duck out of the way just as Zelda turned into an erupting shield volcano, barf covering herself and everything around her in flowing vomit.

Toon Link couldn't stand anymore. Everyone smelled something extremely foul.

"TOON LINK WET HIS PANTS! THE HERO OF WINDS IS A PANTS-WETTER!" reported Kirby. No one cared except a very sick-looking Verna, as Marth and Roy were still allowing their vomit to mingle in the air and another round of the eruption of Mount Zelda, the barf mountain, began. Poor Toon Link tried distracting everyone from his "episode" by willing himself to vomit. Fortunately, it worked.

"HE BARFS TOO!" Kirby shrieked

"That's why my hero is the enigmatic Last Ring Bearer. He never threw up!" Verna declared suddenly, before closing her mouth suddenly, hoping she could hold her vomit back.

"YEAH, BUT HE ALSO BARELY DID ANYTHING ON HIS OWN QUEST. HE JUST LET SAM DRAG HIM AROUND!"

"Huh?" Verna was confused.

"He's... lying..." moaned Toon Link before continuing to vomit. "The Ring Bearer... was... awesome..."

Kirby suddenly threw up as well. At least his throw up was made of stars.

"I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! YAHOO-" mid-sentence, Verna had a third round of vomit herself.

"You guys are all DISGUSTING!" came Peach's voice.

In response, all present covered the recently arrived princess in vomit.

Or rather, they were met by her parasol as she unfurled it to enter the room. Noticing Verna was now gasping for air, she walked over and picked her up.

"You poor thing," Peach crooned as she walked out to get her cleaned up.

"What about poor us?" Roy asked indignantly before continuing his vomiting.

Princess Peach had an unfortunate weakness for anything small and fairly cute, whether it was hobbits, Pokemon, or anime anything.

* * *

**Eighth take**

As soon as Verna was back and the vomiting died down, the group began singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in rounds. Verna was glad that her uncles taught her to sing well so she wouldn't be embarrassed like Roy and Marth were.

"YOU MADE MY EARS BLEED! NEVER SING AGAIN!" Kirby shouted angrily at Marth.

Suddenly, it seemed that the lights dimmed. Thunder boomed in the distance. And Zelda12343, the author, more commonly known as Zell, stalked in.

"What relevance does this have to the plot?" she asked serenely.

"I don't know," Verna gasped. She'd never met Zell, and had no clue how to handle her.

"Well, cease, then!" she replied.

The little hobbit was quaking in fear. Her hair appeared to be trembling and even her large green eyes were frightened-looking.

"Wait, what about your appearance? That has no relevance to the plot either!" Zelda snapped her fingers.

"I have to be introduced sometime, you know!" Zell replied.

"Whatever," Roy smirked.

"I hope that this is the last time we meet!" Zell declared and stalked out. (**Author's note: **_It's far from the last time that we see Zell. I'm not revealing any more!)_

_"_I'm going home!" Verna cried. Just then, Sam entered.

"Well, that was a fun brawl- OH MY GOSH WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?" Sam was gasped. "THE ROOM, AND EVERYONE OTHER THAN VERNA IS COVERED IN VOMIT!"

"Um..." Verna blushed and walked out.

"GOODBYE, GUYS AND I HOPE WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN!" she shouted in a way-too-happy voice as she and Sam ran out of Smash Manor.

"I am so telling my pen pal cousin about this!" Zelda grinned and, for the second time that day, composed a letter to her cousin, "Prince Bob of Mirkwood."

* * *

For the second time that day, Legolas, extremely upset, was having mistaken identity issues.

"My name isn't BOB!" he cried. "That delivery girl was nice, though. Nice 'plasma' whip, whatever 'plasma' is. And the letter's funny."

* * *

_Any guess who the delivery girl was?_


	3. Chapter 3

**2: The mystery of dreams**

**Author's note: **_Because that last chapter focused mainly on Brawl, this one will be more about LOTR. Please review if you like. There isn't as much humor in this chapter, though. Actually, this Chapter's a bit dark_

Verna had her first dream of something other than personal adventure that night.

Well, it started out that Rosie wanted her daughter to marry that weirdo from across the river.

"Come on! Your sister is already eating waffles," she cried.

"Waffles?" Verna asked, confused. "What does waffles have to do with this?"

"It's your dream, silly. It's not supposed to make sense!"

"And also, what does my sister have to do with this?"

"She's good at driving trains and she's perfect. You're not!"

Verna then shook her head and closed the door on her mother. There was actually a little sense in the 'she's perfect, you're not!' rant. Eleanor, in her mother's eyes, could do no wrong. Rosie loved her other children too, but Eleanor was her perfect one, her favorite. And Verna? It seemed that tomboyish, adventurous Verna was nothing but wrong. Eleanor was perfect. Eleanor was feminine. Eleanor was pretty. Eleanor was everything Verna wasn't. Oh, Verna loved her sister, but it was hard sometimes.

As Verna walked down the corridor, she could hear voices in her head.

"I has got the Precious!" one hissed. "Precious-whoops..."

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" shouted another.

"No one tosses a dwarf," another, rough voice came.

"We'll stick you like a PIG!" roared a voice. Suddenly, she was thrown into a vision. It was the top of the tower, with stairs off in the corner facing Verna. She was standing next to a bench of sorts, but she didn't turn to look at who was there. She was too scared of the monstrous, ugly being in front of her. It was towering in height, and it made that kid Aragorn II and his father look normal in height. Of course, Verna had never seen a human up close (or an elf, for that matter), having only read about them or seen them from across the river. It was advancing on whoever was on the bench, so Verna turned to see. And she was given the surprise of her life.

She was face to face with a hobbit. What was a hobbit like this doing here? He was lying on the bench, his hands chained together. Verna could tell from his petrified expression that he wasn't exactly used to these creatures, either. Probably he was from somewhere without those creatures. Maybe the Shire or something. However, he looked just a little different from the hobbits of the Shire. Probably it was his coloring. He was paler than most other hobbits, and had darker hair than normal. As a matter of fact, Verna had darker hair than normal, and hers was dark red. However, it was the eyes that shocked Verna the most.

So blue... So deep... So sad... never before had Verna seen eyes like these.

Suddenly, she saw his expression change to that of amazement. She whirled around to see that the scary creature had a knife in his chest.

"Not if I stick you first!" cried a voice. The creature collapsed to reveal its small killer: a hobbit.

Not just any hobbit, either. Verna realized with a shock that it was her father. What was he doing here?

Before either hobbits could start talking, she was hurled into another vision. This time, it was the same two hobbits, now joined by a horrible creature. It was paler even than the strange hobbit boy, without a shirt or shoes. He was speaking in a horrible voice.

"PRECIOUS!" the creature screamed. She looked at the hobbits to see that her father looked angry, while the other one was on the ground, gasping in horror. One of his fingers was bleeding profusely, and she had a horrible feeling that it had been amputated somehow. However, he pulled himself up to fight the creature. The two tussled on the ground for a moment before they slipped off the cliff.

Though no one could hear her, at that moment, she screamed as well. She had no clue why she reacted so much to any of them. Well, after all, her father was there. But it wasn't he that she was fearing for now. It was the other hobbit.

"Give me your hand," her father begged and held it out. He had run to the edge of the cliff and was offering his hand. She looked down to see that the other was holding that creepy thing's hand. The thing seemed to be ready to pull himself up. Verna had a bad feeling that one of them wasn't going to make it.

"Just let go of the ring. Come on," her father pleaded again. Verna wondered by the blue-eyed one hadn't already pulled himself up, but realized that his eyes, despite his former title, were no longer totally blue. They were glowing with red. With pain. With evil. With obsession.

Suddenly the creature fell. Verna could hear it scream "NOOOOOO!"

She felt nothing as he fell. She was too worried about the other two. Verna turned to see that her father had helped the other one up. She looked in relief to see that his eyes had returned to their blue state. Whatever had been causing him to look a little odd was gone now. She could also see that there were tears in his eyes.

"It's okay," her father had a small smile on his face as he reached for his companion's hand. "It's over." Verna felt a sense of relief. But what was over? Oh well, at least whatever it was was over.

Just then, she was flung into another dream of sorts. This time, she was in a place that she somehow knew was called 'Gondor.' She also suddenly knew that it was the capitol of Middle Earth. She could also tell that it was populated by massive beings. They were almost three times her height, actually. Verna was fascinated by how huge they were. They were the size of that monster from earlier, though some were more fine-boned. Then, all of a sudden, Verna was forced to stop staring at them when all knelt to four figures on a raised platform. Verna first thought that they were small children, then realized that, with a shock, they were hobbits.

All four looked a little confused, and one or two looked shy. Verna didn't see their faces very well until one finally looked towards the sky. Her father. Then two more turned around and grinned at one another. Her 'uncles,' Merry and Pippin as they were called! What were they doing here? Finally, the fourth one looked up as well. Except he didn't look at the sky or another.

He was looking at her. Or rather, they were looking in her general direction.

Verna knew that he couldn't see her. However, when her bright green eyes searched the depths of his deep blue ones, she knew that he wouldn't care even if he did. She now realized that he was the hobbit who'd appeared with her father a few times earlier. She hadn't recognized him earlier, mainly because he'd been covered in dirt, grime, sweat, and blood. Even then, he'd appeared on the pale side. Now that he was completely cleaned up, wearing fresh clothes, he seemed like he was a ghost next to the others. However, he also appeared to glow a little from the light. Verna realized, now that she got a better look at him, that he was... sort of cute.

Just as she was processing this, she was flung into yet another dream. This time, she was on a boat. It was barely rocking, but from the feel of it, Verna could tell the boat was sort of... tired. As though it had been an overworked horse or something.

Verna turned around to see two figures looking far off into the horizon. One was the hobbit from before. The other was a young girl, about his height, though she appeared to be only about thirteen. She had long, flowing blond hair and eyes as green as the sea they were now sailing on. The only similarities between the two, basically, were that they were both barefoot and both seemed to glow slightly.

"Frodo, are you okay?" she asked quietly. "I know you're normally so quiet, but now more than ever have you not spoken a word."

He turned towards the other, and Verna could for the first time tell his age. He'd seemed a little older earlier, but Verna could tell that he now appeared to be her age. At least, except for his eyes. They seemed to belong to someone older and wiser, someone sadder than a normal person her age. She also felt that this wasn't a memory. She was witnessing what was actually happening at that moment.

"Etherial, ever since we've left Middle Earth, almost twenty years ago today, I've been wondering," he replied to Etherial. "About my friends. About Sam in particular."

"The pain of losing someone we care about is almost as bad as the other things you go through every day," she said quietly and continued staring off. Verna could see that her ears were rounded like those of a human's, but that she wasn't a human, strictly. She was just too... elf-like.

"Ha!" Frodo wasn't really laughing, just a small, mirthless laugh. "You think that the agony that I feel whenever my ring-wraith scar, or anything else for that matter, can even compare? No! Just think about the psychological element of this whole thing!"

"Now you're sounding like Master," Etherial replied unhappily.

"I don't care if that's a bad habit of your's, but DON'T CALL HIM THAT!" Verna watched as Frodo shoved Etherial away slightly and his eyes glittered. Then, all of a sudden, they returned to normal, and he mumbled "Sorry. See, that's part of the psychological element! Whenever anything related to my quest comes up, I usually feel so upset, so traumatized, so... lonely."

"And that's why we're still sailing around in circles," came an unhappy voice in elvish behind them. "Gandalf doesn't think you're ready to go to the Undying Lands, but at the same time, we can't return to Middle Earth because of that trauma of yours. I swear, we can't even have weapons aboard the ship in your presence, much less fire!"

"Oh, Galnen, go jump in a lake," Etherial spat.

"Don't give me orders," Galnen replied in an unhappy voice. "And there's no lake for miles around thanks to Mr. Basket-Case Baggins right here!"

"You didn't mean me, did you?" came yet another voice behind them. This one, however, Verna could place. She'd heard stories of Mr. Bilbo Baggins for years now, and had heard that he was very jolly all the time. She had also heard that he remained in remarkably good health. However, nothing could surprise her more than seeing him looking only about middle-aged. "Ah," he added warmly. "How adventure does get my blood flowing and me feeling like my old self again!"

"No, I didn't!" Galnen was now snarling. "I was talking about Mr. Lord of the Rings over here!"

"Don't call me that!" Frodo went into another fit of hysterics.

"Shut up!" Galnen replied. For an elf, Verna reasoned, she had a pretty terrible temper.

Frodo stormed away, with Verna close at his heels, back to a small room that Verna somehow knew was his cabin. Now that he was alone, she decided she'd try and talk to him. If he couldn't here her, oh well. If he could, well, if he wasn't a complete mental case by now, maybe he wouldn't be terrified out of his wits and run for his life.

"She's probably teasing," Verna began quietly, standing in the doorway. Frodo was looking at his lap, but when he heard her talking, he shakily looked up, even as she entered the room. "My sister does that to me all the time. Ticks me off whenever I'm in a bad mood. Then again, I'm usually in a bad mood around her."

Thankfully, it was obvious that he saw her. His eyes lit up in surprise and he managed to gasp "How- did you get on?"

"I'm dreaming right now," she explained. "Dreams can reach anywhere. My father has always told me that if you want your dreams enough, they become a reality."

He watched her for a minute before finally saying, "Well, I guess that you're not Sauron's minion."

"What? Didn't the last bearer of the ring destroy him, and all his followers, too?" Verna was confused.

"I thought he did," Frodo replied morosely. Verna wondered why he was even talking about a topic he'd just finished saying was traumatic. "But he's been calling out to me. Asking me to join him."

"Why?" Verna asked.

"I was the last ring bearer," he answered quietly. Verna gasped. This hobbit, the one she was talking to, was one of the greatest heroes in Middle Earth?

"You're kidding me, right?" she asked. "I always assumed he was elvish or human or something."

"Very few elves remain in Middle Earth," he responded. "Besides, most humans wouldn't have been able to endure the quest."

"They can fight better!" Verna declared. "I can barely lift the dagger my father gave me. Besides, they have a longer reach."

"They can fight," Frodo admitted. "But they can't hide. I mostly hid on my journey and let braver companions do the work for me. However, I didn't escape without injury."

Verna walked closer to him. Now that she realized that one of her greatest fantasy heroes was of the same species that she was, she felt a mixture of pride, and admittedly a little envy. She really wanted to get to know this hero. He was so... approachable.

"What sorts of injury?" she asked, reaching out her hand as he was. The minute their fingers touched, Verna suddenly felt a flash of pain just above her heart, as though she'd been stabbed very hard. She gasped as she felt as though that area was on fire.

Suddenly she felt his hand slip away.

"I'm so sorry," Frodo said quietly as she regained her control.

"That's okay," she replied gently. "It must really hurt you."

"It does," he looked out the window, unsmiling. "But after that moment that I transferred that pain to you, I sense that it feels just a little... less painful."

Hearing that, Verna grasped his hand again, feeling the pain once more. After a moment, he forced her away, and she felt the little pain that he'd transferred to her dissipate just the littlest bit.

"I shouldn't have told you that," he mumbled. "I don't want anyone else to be hurt on my account."

"Don't worry. Despite having just met you, I want to help," she smiled.

"Okay, you're a little... weird," he continued. "Still, I like your attitude."

"Uncle Merry and Uncle Pippin don't call me L.V, standing for Loyal Verna, for nothing- hey, what's the matter?" Verna broke off when she saw Frodo had lost the little color he'd originally had in his cheeks.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"N-nothing," he replied, trying to regain his composure. "I used to know them. They were related to me on either side of my family. How are they?"

"Quite fine. They live as next door neighbors. Neither got married, but Unce Pippin helps my parents with the littler ones in my family, while Uncle Merry taught me how to properly pull off pranks."

"You're from the Shire," he murmured now. Verna was pretty sure he'd barely heard her.

"Yes, I live there," she replied.

"Tell me about it," he begged. Verna was about to start speaking, but just then, felt something akin to being shaken.

"I'm waking up," she gasped. "I'm going to have to go."

"Visit me again," he said quietly. "Tell me about how things are with Middle Earth."

"I most certainly will," she replied.

"I forgot. What's you're name?" he asked.

"Verna," she whispered as she seemed to fade away.

* * *

When Verna awoke, she still felt as though she were dreaming.

She'd never had such a clear dream before, and wondered once again about it. How much she'd seen. How much she'd learned. And why was her father in it? Surely he hadn't been on the quest! If he had, he might've talked about it, at least once! Surely he could've at least mentioned when Gimli or Aragorn II were talking about it, oh, say "Yeah, I was there, too!" Yet he'd never mentioned it.

Oh well. She slipped herself out of bed and into the living room, where she found none other than her father staring at the candle.

"Hi dad," she said loudly. He whirled around and knocked the candle over. It set fire to the table. He gasped and tried putting it out, while Verna rolled her eyes and pulled out her small water pistol she'd gotten a few days ago from Ness, one of her friends in Smash Manor. He'd been using it to ward off the Ice Climbers, which annoyed him to no end, but decided that he wanted Verna to have it more than he did.

"Thanks," he smiled in relief when Verna put out the small fire. Usually it was he who took care of things, but now Verna was becoming the capable one. As a matter of fact, Sam felt as though Verna was becoming more like Frodo had been at her age: kind to others, very capable of handling his own problems (though he'd been glad that Sam had often been there to back him up despite their age difference), with a spirit of adventure, and a slightly feisty side as well that came to the surface particularly when he'd been sixteen and seventeen. Oh, to others, he seemingly remained as sweet and innocent as he'd been at twelve, but by then he was almost as bad as Merry and Pippin. Only Sam knew about his friend's pranks, which were often blamed on Merry and Pippin.

_But after the quest..._

Sam thought sadly how his friend changed in such a short time. On the quest, he was either in pain or trying to resist the ring's endless drain of life on him. After they'd returned to the Shire, he'd been so quiet, so sad. Sam tried to remember his friend smiling after the quest but realized he couldn't. When Bag End had once been full of laughter, he couldn't remember one time after the quest that it had been full of anything except the occasional screams that came whenever Frodo suffered from a nightmare. And then, no one, not even Gandalf or Sam, could comfort him.

Then he'd left...

"Dad?" Verna's voice brought Sam out of his trip down memory lane.

"It's nothing," Sam replied, realizing he'd had a tear in his eye.

"No, it's not nothing," she replied stubbornly.

"If this is about your mother's-"

"It's not about my mother's anything, it's about-"

"Oh, Verna, it's about Eleanor, isn't it?"

"No."

"About any of your siblings?"

"No."

"About wanting to explore the abandoned hole?"

"NO!"

"What is it, then?" Sam was very frustrated. The usual things that bothered a seventeen-year-old weren't what was affecting her.

"We need to have a long, very quiet talk," she replied. "I had a dream last night, that- Dad, I don't want anyone except you to find out."

* * *

Legolas wanted to scream in rage. Again.

Yet another letter had arrived from his cousin for "Prince Bob of Mirkwood." He'd known immediately who it was from when it was announced.

"What could really be bothering her that she gets my name wrong every single freaking time?" he finally howled.

"Huh?" It was Arwen, his friend Aragorn's wife.

"Nothing, Arwen," he replied sullenly. He was about to destroy the letter-

When he caught one word: Sauron.

Now, forgetting his annoyance about the 'Bob' mistaken identity issue, he picked it up and began to read.

"ARAGORN!" he shouted is shock after he finished. "Come here! Now!"


	4. CRACK TIME Aka Chapter 4

**3: The trouble with memories (aka YAY for crack that is a crime against fanfiction!)**

**Author's note:** _This story isn't set from either the world from the book or the movie. Just thought I'd clear that up. This is a combo of book, movie, and alternative. _

_Frodo: Boy, that was a really lame author's note, Zell._

_Zell: Oh, shut up, would you?_

_Frodo: You should think of a better way to do your author's notes._

_Zell: That gives me an idea… (looks thoughtfully at Frodo)_

_Frodo: I don't like the looks of this...

* * *

_

Whenever one woke up screaming, one usually liked it if there was someone standing there, willing to talk.

Especially if that one was a close friend.

So of course, for Frodo at least, if one had to endure horrible nightmares nearly every night, the only good part was that Etherial woke him up. She'd never be Sam, but was as close as he'd been able to get.  
"Wake up! It was only a dream," she smacked him. How unlike Sam, who'd gently shake him awake and promise that it was only a dream in a more soothing tone.

Frodo stopped himself. Etherial got really hurt when he compared her to Sam, who as far as she understood was fictional. And she could read minds. Thankfully, she wasn't at the time. Frodo could tell when she penetrated his mind.

"What's wrong with you? Have you entered a Transfer stage?" he gasped when she finally finished smacking him awake. She certainly seemed more powerful (and grouchier) than usual, certain signs that she was entering a stage where more power was Transferred to her.

"Yes," she replied sullenly. "Don't you remember yours? Oh, dash it all, forget about me. What about you?"  
"Nightmare," he mumbled in reply.

"Perhaps we should talk to M-I mean Elrond of course!. Or maybe even Mother!" she suggested. Frodo couldn't fathom how she managed to see Galadriel as her mother. He found the idea of Galadriel as a mother rather amusing. No. that just could happen. She was so far removed from the notion of a mom that there was no way that that could happen.

"No," he replied, now in a dreamy voice. "I met someone else to share confidence with."

"Me?" she asked. Of course she'd been joking. She and Frodo had been tight since she'd been able to say his name, and even now, as they'd both began branching out, she, even beyond her 'parents', even beyond Elrond, was his closest friend aboard the ship. Of course, she'd also learned to endure the rants of "But I feel disloyal to Sam by calling you my best friend," but once she'd gotten offended that Frodo still seemed to have imaginary friends who were in higher esteem than she was, she'd become content with being his "second-best friend." Of course, Etherial didn't know that there was a whole wide world outside the ship. She'd been born on it, and had lived out her life there.

"Not you," Frodo replied. "A girl from the Shire who came here through a dream. Her name is…"

* * *

"Verna."

Verna turned around to see that her father was now looking out the window, towards the old, abandoned hobbit-hole known as Bag End.

"So now you know," he added.

"So you and your best friend were the heroes?" she asked in wonder. He nodded sadly.

"It cost my friend his life," he added. "At least, that's how I think of it. He sailed away to the Undying Lands, where one only goes when they die."  
Verna thought for a moment of telling him about the part of her dream where she'd seen Frodo, but decided against it. Something was telling her that it wasn't time yet.

Meanwhile, Sam continued looking out the window at the abandoned hobbit-hole. How long ago it seemed that it had been inhabited! As a matter of fact, that innocent thought brought Sam back to the day he'd first met Frodo, all those years ago…

**Insert any sappy flashback sequence here. I feel a little lazy and will not be writing one today.**

"Father?" Verna's voice brought him out of his trip down memory lane.

"Huh? Oh, sorry," he smiled at her to try and let her know that he wasn't upset. Admittedly, he was, he just didn't want her to know.

"Can I go exploring?" Verna asked. Not even waiting for an answer, she bounded off to Smash Manor. There was always something cool to explore there, particularly with Zelda at her side. Well, rather, above her. While Verna had never seen any 'humans,' she didn't see the Smashers as humans. They were just too good.

Sam was prepared to have another long trip down memory lane when all of a sudden, a burst of blinding light appeared and Zell entered, flanked by an elfin girl who appeared very bored.

"I am Zell, the author," she introduced herself. "And this is my OC, an elfin girl who's still sailing away on some ship named… what's your name again?"  
"You invented me. How could you forget my name? Or maybe you just created me to call Mr. Nine-fingered Trauma Case names?" the elfin girl asked in a voice that matched her appearance. "My name's Galnen, anyway. Wait a sec, I thought you like Frodo!"

"I do," Zell replied in an icy voice. "He's one of my favorite LOTR characters. And no, I didn't create you to torment him. You'll play a major role in the future, and besides, it is a bit funny to have an elf with your personality- oh no! We just revealed several major points of the plot!"

"Wait, you- you've been teasing Frodo?" Sam asked angrily. "I thought he was dead!"

"Erase!" Zell shouted, using her magical author-powers and making him forget that their exchange had ever taken place, then re-entered in another burst of light.

**Take Two**

"I am Zell, the author- wait, where's Sam?" Zell scanned the room with her eyes to find that Sam was cowering behind the sofa.

"NO, I am NOT going to hurt you! I'm JUST HERE TO strike FEAR in your heart!" Zell screamed at him. Sam slumped into a dead faint.

"Whoops…" Zell used her author powers to rewrite the scene again.

**Take Three**

"I am Zell, the author!" Zell declared as Galnen grasped Sam in a very strong karate grip.

"That is Galnen, my elfin OC with a bad personality," Zell added. "Hey, where'd you learn how to do that move?"

"Mr. I'm-angsty-and-traumatized sometimes needs restraining," Galnen replied.

"Like when?"

"Like when he's suffering a psychological spell, and- oh, my bluetooth's letting me know from Etherial that I'm needed."

"Why?"

"Psychological spell."

"I'm just writing Galnen out, dangit!" cried Zell.

**Take Four**

"I am Zell, the author, here to strike fear in your heart and let you know that you should stop this angst-ridden hogging of the chapter Verna is supposed to be in charge of!" Zell shouted in one breath. Sam nodded, still frightened from a few takes ago.

"O-o-kay," he stammered and left the room as fast as he could.

"See, Zell? That was easy!" came the voice of her twin sister, Zillah. Zillah was sort of Zell's stunt double. When Zell had to help direct things in another setting, Zillah pretended to be Zell for action's sake.

"All you had to do was to write out Galnen!" Zillah added.

"Don't be so smug, Zillah. As you are an OC as well, I could easily write you out!" Zell replied coldly.

"Well, you're technically an OC, too, regardless that you are, to date, in two other fanfics."

"Touché, Zillah, Touché."

* * *

When she reached Smash Manor, Verna immediately realized that something was wrong. Or rather, three somethings.

These somethings were Marth, Roy, and Ike. Or rather, Marth, Roy, and Ike with Merry and Pippin in tow.

The bigger problem, even? They were going to brawl Crazy Hand. And Crazy Hand…

"ELEPHANTS!" shrieked Crazy Hand and began bouncing up and down. "BUTTERFLIES!"

"What are you doing with Merry and Pippin?" Verna asked angrily.

"We're teaching 'em how to brawl!" declared Marth. To prove his point, he handed Merry his sword after demonstrating a proper stab.

Merry had a very good aim and a very strong hand. However, there was one issue: he was much shorter than Marth. As a result, his stab hit Marth in a place no boy enjoyed being hit.

"Whoops…" Merry blushed and tried to turn away when he felt Roy smack him.

"Don't hit Marth there, stupid hobbit!" cried Roy.

"Seriously, you hit like a girl!" Pippin laughed.

"Maybe because you and Marth are girls!" Merry added, recovering quickly.

"No one who wields a sword from Fire Emblem can be called a girl and get away with it!" Marth squeaked, still feeling pain where Merry had hit him.

"Not even the ones who actually are girls?" came a cool female voice behind them.

"Don't reply, Marth!" Verna warned.

"NO!" Marth shouted.

"Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Marth," Lyn replied, smirking and hefting her own blade.  
"I tried to warn you," mumbled Verna and backed away.

"VERNA! DO SOMETHING!" shrieked Marth.

"Screw you guys," Verna replied. "I'm going to go climb something."

"HAND PWN! MASTER HAND- PAWNCH!" shrieked Crazy Hand.

"He really is crazy," Verna mumbled.

"Not crazy," replied a passing Toon Link. "Just really random."

"Yeah, Toony, I believe you, but- hey, is that a ring that you've got dangling around your neck?" Verna asked.  
"Yep. Just like the one in Lord of the Rings," Toon Link replied. "I'm a huge fan. AND WHY DID IT HAVE TO END SO SADLY?"

"Stupid fanboy. If he realized what it was like for the Fellowship, he'd never be a fan," came a voice in Verna's head.

"Hey, Zelda and I are going to watch The Fellowship of the Ring," Toon Link grinned. "Wanna join us, Verna?"

"What's The Fellowship of the Ring?" Verna asked.

"You're a hobbit and Sam's daughter, and you DON'T KNOW?" Toon Link gasped. "You're SO watching the movie with us!" he grabbed Verna's wrist and dragged her to Lounge 1A.

* * *

"Was that just me, or is this chapter infected with 'Crazy Hand Syndrome?'" Frodo asked Etherial. "And why was I seeing such a random mansion?"

Etherial removed her hand from his forehead.

"I don't know," Etherial replied. "But I saw it too."

"Well, duh, genius," Frodo snapped. "You were reading my thoughts!"

"Sorry for being… what do I have to be sorry for?" she asked. "You're the on who gets so… touchy."

"Would you stop using a triple period?" Frodo asked, by now becoming angry. "It's annoying me!"

"Why do you have to be so… nasty?" Etherial asked.

"If you'd been the ring bearer, you'd be nasty on your bad days, too!" Frodo snapped again.

"Well, I know you never used to be this bad-tempered!" she shouted back.  
"If you had had a proper home and had been wrenched away from it early, you'd be upset, too!" Frodo shouted.

"Break it up!" Gandalf had entered for his first major scene in the fanfic. He was still Gandalf the White, but he wished he could call himself "Gandalf the Emotional Punching Bag of Frodo Baggins." That's what he felt like whenever Frodo had one of his bad days. For an unusually reserved young hobbit, Frodo was very angsty and emotional, particularly when his quest was brought up.

"WHY DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?" Frodo shrieked in what sounded like two voices.. Seeing Gandalf's stunned expression, he blushed and apologized.

"Sorry. Had to get that out of my system," he was still talking in two voices. And Gandalf recognized the new one.

"OH MY GOD, FRODO'S BEEN POSSESSED BY THE DEMONIC AUTHOR EXTRAORDINAIRE, ZELDA12343!" he gasped in a loud voice.

P.S the fanfic ends here.

* * *

"Hehehe, you guessed it," Frodo/Zell smirked, then broke the fourth wall by addressing the few fans that the fanfic had.

"Hey, you, fans," (Frodo/Zell is addressing whoever's reading this, by the way). "I (meaning both Frodo and Zell) am running out of creative ideas to shamelessly solicit reviews from my fans, so I decided to possess… um, I'm not exactly sure how to put this because partially, I'd be saying I am possessing myself. Well, that aside, my Zell part was sick of writing author notes that no one reads. Well, anyway, I, Zell, have decided that whenever there's a lag in reviews, I might pick someone to possess."

Etherial fainted.

"Don't worry, it's not permanent. As a matter of fact, unless I choose for it to happen, there is no permanent damage. Well, that aside, I agree that this chapter was the most random, horrible chapter that I could've written. It's tactless and terrible."

"Does Frodo think that, or does Zell?" wondered Gandalf.

"Both agree that this is a random chapter," Frodo/Zell smirked again.

"I just realized that for the first time since the quest, you're smiling, Frodo." Gandalf smiled himself.

"This doesn't count. If it weren't Frodo/Zell, then I'd still be my frowning, angsty self. The smirks are Zell's idea. Well, anyway, beyond that, I decided to end the fanfic right there for a cliff-hanger. Technically, this entire part doesn't exist. Well, anyway, if you want the cliffhanger to end, you better review! And this doesn't go to the authors who have already reviewed!" Frodo/Zell is staring at the fans.

"You're starting to scare me," Gandalf said warningly. "And I thought you on your anniversary of your greatest injury, as we call it nicely, were frightening. Frodo/Zell, you've never been this scary."

"DON'T MENTION IT! THE FACT THAT IT'S IN A WEEK DOESN'T IMPROVE MY MOOD (MEANING I AS FRODO AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO EXPERIENCING IT WHILE I AS ZELL AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO WRITING IT)!" screamed Frodo/Zell before the author and her host continued.

"Well, anyway, review to see what happens! The end! Also, I'll be possessing someone again soon if no one reviews!"

With that, Gandalf fainted as well. Frodo scared him regularly, but this was too much.

"Wimp," mumbled Frodo/Zell as he/she settled down, staring freakishly at the fans, waiting for the reviews.

"Wait, isn't something missing?" he/she mumbled to him/herself.

"Make the reviewers find it!" shouted Galnen from the background.

"Okay."


End file.
